I forgot how refreshing it is to be gone from Facebook. I deactivated it probably about 3-4 weeks ago now and it honestly feels weirdly great. There are times when I'm like "Crap I can't remember when this person's birthday is" but then I think, "Well, I remember the birthdays that are really, truly important to me." Well except for one person. I couldn't remember her birthday and I felt really bad. I think she understands though. We've known each other forever.
But anyway, gone is the need to try to be "that person" for all these people that I really don't need to care about. Notice how I said "don't need" ... I want to care but I am spreading myself way too thin. Why overly care when they could care less about what my opinion or anything is? I think I get caught up in these crazy hypotheticals (and yes I'm now singing that song in my head) and kind of like my sister, I have this weird, hero complex. Like if I catch someone's status about something super depressing, I can waltz into their life and save them. When really, I couldn't even do that with someone incredibly special to me (and I know I couldn't have done anything anyway).
No doubt I will go back to it. It always drags me back somehow. But I think I'll do a purge. I always say I will but this time... I think I should. Starting with my old residents who probably don't even remember who I am! I always had this weird logic/thinking that they would be so mad at me or be like, "How dare she?!" But then will I ever see them again? And why does it matter that there are people who think like that for at most a day? Because really, if they even thought about me like that, do I want them in my life and knowing stuff in my life? Not really. (Man I sound mean)
Anywho, back to studying and realizing more and more how much I don't know. Le sigh.
No comments:
Post a Comment