So my first week of school is done with and I have to say that my stress level is ... still the same but feels different. I know that sounds weird but basically before school started, it felt like this gigantic question mark that loomed over me and threatening my sanity.
Now that question mark is much smaller but ... I still have some stress and anxiety. Yes all my teachers/lecturers/professors have reiterated over and over that each student is there not by chance but because they were exclusively chosen by the faculty... and because they know we can succeed in these programs. It's fantastic to hear but my old nagging, self-destructive voice is still there saying, "Are you sure? You're pretty old now. You don't remember stuff like you used to. The rest of the cohort is smarter, younger and faster. Remember how poorly you did in school?"
That voice is something I know I have to fight hard and with the help and prayers of my aptly named "Thunder Buddies" (a term I'm taking from my dear friend Adam from sadrunner.com) ... I think I can do it.
So far, even the fiancé has been great. He's been great at making sure I'm doing all my reading and school work. But even still, there's that negative voice again that says, "yes but you're not paying him enough attention and he will resent you..."
Ugh the negative voice sucks. I should name it something horrible... like Voldemort. And then defeat it! Hmmm this has proved to be a good session of writing.
Onward and upward!!!!
Showing posts with label school. Show all posts
Showing posts with label school. Show all posts
Saturday, September 17, 2016
Tuesday, September 13, 2016
Started nursing school!
So I finally have moved on to start my career as a healthcare practitioner. I got into nursing school at Samuel Merritt about 3 miles from where I live (so now I bicycle instead of drive!) and over the next two years (and a few months) I finally get to learn about being the best healthcare practitioner I can be!
It has been such a journey til now. I've been applying for the last two years but super seriously for the last year. It has been a struggle and really re-ignited some issues I thought I had gotten over and made others just come super to the forefront (like my depression).
It's day two of school and I'm loving it. One of our teachers said today, "Another way to show you really care is to let go." That statement spoke to me on so many different levels. All of the staff/faculty have been telling us as well that we are all here because they CHOSE us. They didn't have to let any one of us in but they chose us out of a field of applicants. I have to remind myself of that. The administration chose me because they saw my potential and they know I can finish the program. I have to stop the self defeat and beating up.
The other day I had this amazing talk/hang out with a friend and it seriously was absolutely necessary and fantastic. She confirmed and affirmed so many of my feelings that I haven't said to anyone aloud because I just felt foolish. She supported me and continues to support me which feels astonishingly awesome.
Anyway, I felt like I needed to get all that out before I forgot. Phew.
It has been such a journey til now. I've been applying for the last two years but super seriously for the last year. It has been a struggle and really re-ignited some issues I thought I had gotten over and made others just come super to the forefront (like my depression).
It's day two of school and I'm loving it. One of our teachers said today, "Another way to show you really care is to let go." That statement spoke to me on so many different levels. All of the staff/faculty have been telling us as well that we are all here because they CHOSE us. They didn't have to let any one of us in but they chose us out of a field of applicants. I have to remind myself of that. The administration chose me because they saw my potential and they know I can finish the program. I have to stop the self defeat and beating up.
The other day I had this amazing talk/hang out with a friend and it seriously was absolutely necessary and fantastic. She confirmed and affirmed so many of my feelings that I haven't said to anyone aloud because I just felt foolish. She supported me and continues to support me which feels astonishingly awesome.
Anyway, I felt like I needed to get all that out before I forgot. Phew.
Saturday, January 21, 2012
Week 1 at school done!
Call me a nerd, a crazy person, whatever but I LOVE CAÑADA COLLEGE! Seriously. De Anza can suck the big one. They put me such crazy beaurocratic crap that I will honestly never try to go there again. Unless I have a real hankering to put myself through torture again or I really have no where else I can swim. Anywho, to continue with my love affair of Cañada...
Why do I love this college so? Let me count the ways:
1. Everything that De Anza made me do over WEEKS (and by the way they still have not gotten back to me about this one thing) Cañada finished in a few hours. A FEW HOURS. AND they had me meet with a counselor (because I needed to get my prerequisites signed off) and he was super helpful and even told me about how I should apply to the nursing program because more than likely I'll get in.
2. I have class Thursday nights and I went to the bookstore to buy this stupid thing for chem, and this girl stopped me to hand me a flyer and said something. However, of course my hearing is terrible so I said, "Sorry what?" And she repeated, "Do you want a free pork bun and tea? We're celebrating Chinese New Year!" UHM... YES PLEASE. I then asked the nice folks freezing in the rain if they were a part of some club (and if they said yes I would've asked if I could join because comon... free food?) but they're not! The student government/the school itself fronted the money for this! Oh there's more. Every month on the third Thursday, they have free food! EVERY MONTH.
3. My very first class guess what my teacher is? SCOTTISH. It's like they knew that I needed/was missing that aspect of education (the tuning my ear to different accents).
4. They qualified me for the BOG Waiver (Board of Governors.. I think)... which means I don't have to pay too many registration fees! They understand that I'm poor and just because I live in Los Altos with my parents doesn't mean that I'm inherently wealthy... Stupid De Anza and their senseless zip code discrimination.
.... I can't think of anything else right now but needless to say, I LOVE IT! I mean it's going to be difficult since I'm taking a max load but what can you do? I'm poor and don't have a career. Back to school right? Isn't that the cry of our generation?
Why do I love this college so? Let me count the ways:
1. Everything that De Anza made me do over WEEKS (and by the way they still have not gotten back to me about this one thing) Cañada finished in a few hours. A FEW HOURS. AND they had me meet with a counselor (because I needed to get my prerequisites signed off) and he was super helpful and even told me about how I should apply to the nursing program because more than likely I'll get in.
2. I have class Thursday nights and I went to the bookstore to buy this stupid thing for chem, and this girl stopped me to hand me a flyer and said something. However, of course my hearing is terrible so I said, "Sorry what?" And she repeated, "Do you want a free pork bun and tea? We're celebrating Chinese New Year!" UHM... YES PLEASE. I then asked the nice folks freezing in the rain if they were a part of some club (and if they said yes I would've asked if I could join because comon... free food?) but they're not! The student government/the school itself fronted the money for this! Oh there's more. Every month on the third Thursday, they have free food! EVERY MONTH.
3. My very first class guess what my teacher is? SCOTTISH. It's like they knew that I needed/was missing that aspect of education (the tuning my ear to different accents).
4. They qualified me for the BOG Waiver (Board of Governors.. I think)... which means I don't have to pay too many registration fees! They understand that I'm poor and just because I live in Los Altos with my parents doesn't mean that I'm inherently wealthy... Stupid De Anza and their senseless zip code discrimination.
.... I can't think of anything else right now but needless to say, I LOVE IT! I mean it's going to be difficult since I'm taking a max load but what can you do? I'm poor and don't have a career. Back to school right? Isn't that the cry of our generation?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)